Murder weapons. Get it? Dead weight. Killing your fat. Murder weapons. These are going to be things that I think are helpful to have if you're trying to lose weight. I won't go over the super-obvious stuff. You don't need me to tell you that you should own a calorie-counting book or a pair of dumbbells or something like that. And you don't need me to tell you to get a scale either, but I'm going to recommend a particular one to you which is the purpose of this post.

First, there's something you should know about how most modern digital scales work. I thought this was common knowledge but I was in a room with 10 people who are trying to lose weight a month or so ago and none of them knew what I was talking about so maybe it's not as well known as I thought. Or maybe I'm surrounded by morons.

The problem with digital scales when they first came out was that they were so unreliable. You could step on them one minute and weigh 204, step off and step back on and weigh 202.  You, as a rational human being, realized that the likelihood of you losing 2 pounds over the course of 6 seconds is remote enough to not warrant further examination. So, like most people, you just resigned yourself to the fact that your digital scale was unreliable.

But then the scale makers did something clever. They programmed the scales so that they will always display the same weight they did the last time you were on the scale unless there is a significant difference in what it registers your weight as this time. With most of the scales I've tested you need to register a weight that is +/- 1 or 2 pounds before your scale shows you a new weight. This makes the scale seem a lot more consistent and accurate, when really it's neither. So now if you want to weigh yourself a couple times in succession you need to drag your laundry bag or something else with you on the scale so it will read much higher than normal (wiping out your old weight) then drop the bag and weigh yourself again.

Fortunately there is now a scale that I've found to be remarkably accurate and it also takes into account how your weight is balanced so you don't throw off the measurement by leaning forward or back or whatever. It doesn't lie to you and tell you your weight is the same as it was five minutes ago, even though you know you took a good long piss between the two weigh-ins. And you can downhill ski on it.

That's right, it's the Wii Fit and it's pretty great. It's like 80 bucks or something which isn't a whole lot more than many digital scales that are already out there. And as I said, it's much more accurate at coming up with what your weight is. Of course, you'll need to have a Nintendo Wii in order to use a Wii Fit, and that's going to run you $250. So if you don't have a Wii, this whole package would cost you $330 for what is essentially a scale you can play Mario on. Is it worth it? For me it definitely is. I like being able to track my weight with a very accurate scale. And I like that the Wii fit keeps track of your weight and BMI for you in a way that makes it easy to see your progress. It also has many balance and aerobic activities that are relatively enjoyable and give you feedback as you get more adept at them. I know what you're thinking, "Andy, couldn't I save 300 bucks and just superglue an old Atari to my bathroom scale?" No, dummy, you can't. Why do my hypothetical readers have such stupid questions?

I know $330 isn't cheap, but you can justify it by telling yourself that it will not only help you lose weight but you can play video games on it and increase your hand-eye coordination, your problem solving skills, and all those other lies people who play lots of video games tell themselves. For instance, I'm about to go increase my cognitive skills, relieve stress, and increase my problem-solving ability by playing a guitar with buttons instead of strings to shitty 80's songs.