I weigh 316 pounds.

I know what you're thinking: Oh my god... someone taught a sea lion how to use a computer.

That's actually not the case. I am, in fact, a 316-pound human being. Crazy, I know.

Last year I lost over 50 pounds on a diet of my own invention. Like most things of my own invention, it was rather stupid. I call it stupid because it was completely unsustainable. I knew that at the time so it came as no surprise to me when I went off the diet and gained the weight back; it was what I expected. At some point in the future I'll tell you about that diet, but the details of it aren't super important right now. What is important is that while I was on that diet I thought a lot about how to lose weight and I came up with a philosophy that I'm going to put into practice over the next couple years or so and see if I can lose 130 pounds. That's my goal.

So this is my weight loss blog. Well, since I haven't actually lost any weight yet, I guess it's more correct to say that this is potentially my weight loss blog. Most weight loss blogs do their best to be inspirational or informative. I doubt I will be either, unless you're a person with a similar mindset and similar circumstances. If this blog were a book it would probably be in the memoir section, not the self-help section. So if you think my advice is bad or my ideas are moronic, keep that in mind. I intend for this just to be a chronicle of my time trying to lose weight and hopefully that will be interesting enough.

I don't know exactly what types of things I'll be posting. I bought the domain name and commissioned the artwork and then sat around for a few weeks trying to decide exactly what I wanted to do here. Then yesterday I stepped on the scale and found myself at 316 pounds and decided I could either wait around for inspiration to strike to start my diet and this blog or I could just go ahead and get on with it. So I'm just getting on with it.